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   Saturday, February 02, 2002 supposed to write this thing yesterday but i was soo bloody tired as i only manage to came back at 2 am..yep first time in my life i went out so late was A. noraini..she invited me for a late dinner at victoria station..i didnt want to go as i was already on my way to 7/11 and in my pyjamas and had such a heavy dinner..BUT she there i was crawling up in my room tyring to figure out wut in the world to wear for an outing which happens in about 5 minutes!! imagine me craking up my head and putting on every single b4 dat i heard dat mr.s that singaporean guy is still in town and visited that auntie the day macam lagi excited and nervous giler.. imean theres a great possibilty that hes going to join us !!..but to my dissapointment he was not there it was only (A.N) family...dinner was the usual..nice i would say..but i learn something useful during those precious hour..that mr.s's name is SHARIF...FINALLY!!! and that her mom was sharifah something..and dat they are going back to sing. today..and dat they wanted to join us for dinner...BUT A.N said no coz takut they;ll drag the conversation up so late like the day b4.."besides if sharif sees u here he's not going home!!" <----- can u believe she actually said dat!! i mcm WHAT? terkejut..and try to cover my blushing pass tuh at about12 i went back to their house and chatted with her daughter Siti (yes, another siti in my life) whom just came back frm aussie..shes such a nice girl..not girlish but nice..polite and all..VERY shy...but nice..pretty too but sayang shes not the kind yg dress we were talking on and on and on..from topics about australia and why she hated that place and all untill we couldnt keep track of the time..she sent me home at 2 am..which then to my own parents didnt say a single comment bout it!! dats about it..oh and i saw his picture in the photo collection at dat auntie's house....and im telling u now..i dont feel any excitement on my side..why? i wish i i too fussy?? picky?ehmm..maybe..what do u think?

today i had ct,sha,and her frens-liyana and len to accompany me to sg. wang to pick up my clothes...mcm best..pass tuh we went to nippon tei in klcc, a japanese restaurant..i had my fave. tempura set..the luch was okay-lah..hehe..i think i didnt get enough i was a bit high ..ask sha and ct...the girl who was with em for lunch is ssoooooooo not me..i mean dunno whats got into me..anyway we had such a lovely time and the bunch of friends i had just now was amazing..laughter is the best medicine and i think the last time i laughed so crazy like dat was in college with the guys around..ahh kinda missed them..jay -the singaporean monkey (Mani used to call him dat), Mohd. the guy with the most funny accent of "so sweeeeeet", kenneth-the sleepy eyes,and mr.naga BIG!! hahahha cant believe i can still remember dat BIGGGGGGGGG thingy..kenn way started it first..then theres chris and ken way..and theres my admirer abd..hahah this guys is another QAIS guys are so blur ..!! dunno when is a NO and when is JUST A FREN! so enuff about that..i saw like around5 shoes that i like and plans to get..but i'll limit my self to one per 2 weeks or a month ahh lama!!....but i have to theres other much more important expenses have to be carrried out first! yeah miss vogue ct..who knows alot about fashion recommended me to get a pair of pointed shoes coz according to her i have long legs SO i should wear pointed shoes...ehmm..maybe shes right and if im not mistaken mom used to tell me dat once..since 2 of my fasion adviser appoint me dat particular shoe SO im gonna get dat type first pass tuh baru beli "nose" white flower sandall...plray dat i could get some money from somone..heheh..

yesterday i had this really weird dream..guess who was in my dream Amir..a neighbour and an old skool friend ..i never had any crush on him ...NEVER....but entah suddenly he was a car ..with his dad who was driving ..picking me up from my home..mcm..WEIRD!!..but hes attractive lar dat i have to admit...what could this mean?I WoNdEr!!

   Friday, February 01, 2002
it works!!

okay ive just change my template lets see if it works

guesswut yesterday night i receive an sms message from QAIS...god i cant believe im not more of SCARED!!
like WHAt the hell does he wants man!! anyway he asked how i was and told me that he havent seen me around in college..and hope i did well in exams and that to see me soon!! arghhhhhhhhhhhh.... this is hard man, hard to say no in a "lembut" way to men..or boys..coz they will never understand!!!i mean i was being a friend..and thats about it..i guess he misunderstood now? i treat him the same way i treat my other guy friends...and he just doesnt seem to understand....i could just slam him right in the face..but thats not me u know...i really have to do something about this b4 it gets out of hand!! any suggestion?

then today just about a few minutes just now..i added this guy in my icq list whom name is sharif...from singapore...and 18 yrs old...hehe..i wonder if its my long lost friend hehe whom i met last saturday night...just pray for me okay???if its really him..i'll promise i'll kiss u all..hahah

   Wednesday, January 30, 2002
so yeah today i had to attend this lecture thing in collegge ...a boring and stewpid one..have no idea why i was even there..met up with the others..and edison also was there..damn alot of new faces around the col...and YES ..i met SEMUt....the guy whom i used to have a crush on...u should have seen sheha and sitis reaction..damn tak COVER...i had to put on a blank-i-dunno-wut-u-talking-about-face when he walked sort of pass us in the cafeteria....anyway guys honestly,truly..from the bottom of my OVER with him. get it? OVER OVEROVEr ... its like laaaaaaaaaaaaa....that guys a joke; i mean he walks like some james oh im so cool!..please lah..sort of snobbish okay ..i have no more ANTS or TENTACLES in my not kidding..

then i also saw..some other siti's MAMBO guy...and josh hartnett and sha's dats about me crazy..but im downloading britney's song...i hate her..but well her song is just getting better and better..i mean like MORE matured ..ya know..
and to let u all not feeling quite well today..pms..

today around noon..after i got back from college..i went to bangsar for an assunta its not my reunion its my MOM;s
all those old ladies..but young at heart was there...hehe...i ate quiche(mushroom & chicken), brownies,choco cake,a homemade choco sweets erm..wutelse..just all those yummy things which my mom's friend made it by eh? yeah i dah so gemuk now....even made a promise with myself not to eat dinner.BUT my damn nice brother had to buy sushi,teppanyaki,tempura...and some other stuffs for yah im double the size now..and i think im going to throw up bye..
the fat girl at the moment!

   Sunday, January 27, 2002
finally dad pays up the internet bill..which have gone over hundredsssssss....such a hectic the morning i was in the office..then off to midvalley at 12 then to the hairdresser then to subang!!...i think i spent more time on the road as the traffic was horrible...anyway..lets not go there..guess who i old college fren he looks totally different and tall!! sheha pun cakap hes more goodlooking than first i didnt agree with her then after re-consider balik and with all the changes on him macam okay -pulak and he looks better with his normal black hair..the old blond was chatted for a while and apparently he has been working in topshop for a month!! i wish i could work in a shop like dat..having stuck in the office not that fun ya know...neeway...met ct and arif later for movie..HARDBALL....was touches more on humanity and how stuck up people can be ..oh defan and rais was also there...they are nuts...having to make noises b4 the movie started ..pass tuh kena sound dgn some matsalleh guy..haha...padan muka...after that i had to leave early kena gi salooooonnnnn...felt awfully bad for dragging sheha along...sorry dear

then comes the best climax of this journal..I MET A GUY!!! hahah....betul betul..i actually did..his name was..sha something..not u sheha..but i think it was sharif ker sharik..ker i dunnolah..syok sangat sampai lupa namer...i ingat i asked him twice for the name..dier sampai tergelak!!! BUT STILL I CANT REMEMBER!!..neeway..hes a singaporean..our age..some syed family..and yes for the answer u all been waiting for..hes GAWJUS!!heheheh...but there was a flaw at the beginning; i was absolutely shocked when he told me he had just drop out from sch. !! i dont mean to be kurang ajar..but my face macam terdiam jap...and was staring blankly at him..then he quickly cakap..hes going for national service...i was like datt. do u think im being mean?i mean honestly that came naturally!! then later i felt horribly bad..nak cakap sorry pun takut..but i tried to carry on with daconversation tapi macam LA jer..different taste lar...hes into soccer..dunt listen to mtv..dunt even know about gigs in i macam ask lar..what do u do for fun..a pretty common question..kan? he was like huh? apparently he plays soccer under some semi-gov i asklar..since someppl were up on tha stage singing and dancing to BOLLYWOOD..(im not kidding) whether he himself listens to them..he was like lil kuch kuch ho tar hei..mohabbatein..i was like ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a really long oh!... i felt even worse now..guys do u think im being cruel to him? then there was a show called PAPERDOLLs... by some gay ppl..dancing and singing..but they honestly obsolutely..fantastically..amazingly..looks like WOMEN..i mean for god sake the boobs was so PERFECT !!! so back to the story..the opening show was this dirty dancing u know the one with the pole swinging and dancing..yeah dats the one..this sharif guy(mr.s) was like whoa...i mcm..shit man this gays have overtaken my chance of getting closer to him!! terus our concversation stop...he even kena usik by the dancers....since dari i arrive i was like shit how the hell did i get here...all the ppl are all mak datin ader yg second wife..and so on..and their taste are horrible..i mean they sang along to dangdut..and they danced macam whoa( u cannot imagine)..i pun tak nari cam tuh..not kutuk k..but REALLY they did..i was restraining myself from burstout yah mr. s got up and stood somewhere far away from the stage..then guess who replaced him..HIS MOM!! i chatted with her like the normal-non-obusive-questions...okaylar..they're not the singapore yg modern sangat..

then after the show..they were some dancing going on..did i dance? NO i dunno how to dance to twiz lar..rock and roll lar..(see i eja twiss or twiz pun salah) BUT mr.s did..!!! MAN HES GOOD! no kidding..i was like shit fathin see uve just missed one gawjus guy-who can dance damn shitty well!! mom was pushing me to go & dance with em..i mcm..tak naklar..malu sial..i dunno how to dance like dat mr.s ..takut i malukan yeah he was up there with other OLD i tak kisah sgt as he wasnt dancing with any young girls!! hhahahah...pas tuh i mcm tiredlar kan..dgn sejuk i rested my head on me mommy's shoulder..eyes closed for a while..then when i opened my eyes, i caught him in the act staring at me!! i just smile and carry on with my manje instinct told me he was hurt about our earlier conversation..could it be true?or dier saje stare at my face coz my face ader banyak pimples!! hehe..dunnolar..all i know it was a sad ending indeed..i left without even saying goodbye... yep guys..didnt even get his number..i think he left for the restroom maser i blah tuh...sigh...maybe its god will to kena kan me back for being so mean at him! well..i guess if theres a chance we will meet some other time..besides..hes going back to singapore..theres no way i could carry on with anything on that night...and so that was how it all defenately taught me a lesson not to judge the book by its cover and never ever look down on ppl..NO MATTER WUT!! sharik or sharif or whoever u are if u are reading this (which is impossible) i just like u to know that im truly sorry if ive said anything that couldve hurt u! sowee...=(